Should you update your will after separation? Why future planning matters
- hagansteven
- Jun 10
- 3 min read
Updated: Jul 9
Separating? Learn why it is important to review your will and future plans after separation, including considerations around children, finances and protecting those who matter most.
Separation often means making decisions about children, finances and living arrangements, but it's also an important time to review your future plans. Updating your will, considering guardianship for your children and reviewing important legal and financial arrangements can give you peace of mind and help protect the people who matter most.
But there is another important conversation that is often overlooked.
What would happen to your children if one parent were to die unexpectedly?
It can feel uncomfortable to think about, particularly during an already emotional time.
However, separation often changes family structures, financial arrangements, and parenting responsibilities. This means it becomes even more important to make sure your wishes are clearly documented and understood.
Family mediation can provide a safe and supportive space to begin these discussions calmly and constructively.
Why future planning matters after separation
Many separated parents assume that things would simply “work themselves out” if something happened to them.
Unfortunately, this is not always the case.
Without clear planning, disagreements can arise around:
Who would care for the children
Whether step-parents or extended family members would remain involved
Financial provision for the children
Inheritance arrangements
Funeral wishes and practical decisions
How children maintain relationships with both sides of the family
Where communication between parents has already broken down, uncertainty can quickly lead to additional conflict and stress at an already difficult time.
Having open conversations now can help reduce confusion and provide reassurance for everyone involved; especially children.
The importance of a Will
A Will is not just about money or property.
For separated parents, it can also help clarify:
Who should inherit assets on behalf of children
How finances should be managed for children until adulthood
Wishes around guardianship
The role of trustees
Support for blended families or new partners
If you die without a valid Will, decisions about your estate are made according to intestacy rules rather than your personal wishes.
This can sometimes create outcomes that do not reflect modern family arrangements or the realities of co-parenting after separation.
Understanding guardianship
One of the biggest concerns parents often have is:
“Who would look after my children if I died?”
In many cases, a surviving parent with parental responsibility would continue caring for the children. However, there can still be important issues to discuss and plan for, particularly where:
Relationships are strained
There are safeguarding concerns
Children have strong relationships with wider family members
One parent has limited involvement
There are blended family dynamics
A child has additional needs
Parents may also wish to formally appoint guardians within their Will in certain circumstances.
These discussions can feel emotional, but avoiding them entirely can leave uncertainty for children and families later on.
How mediation can help
Mediation is not about forcing decisions.
It is about creating a calm environment where parents can explore sensitive topics respectfully and practically.
Within mediation, parents may discuss:
Future care arrangements for children
Communication wishes if a parent dies
How children maintain important family relationships
Financial considerations for children
Updating Wills after separation
How to reduce the likelihood of future disputes
Importantly, mediation helps parents focus on the long-term wellbeing of their children, rather than short-term conflict.
These conversations can also sit alongside legal advice from solicitors or estate planning professionals where appropriate.
Keeping children at the centre
Children benefit from stability, clarity, and reassurance.
While none of us likes to think about worst-case scenarios, planning ahead can provide peace of mind and reduce uncertainty for the people who matter most.
Future planning is not about expecting something bad to happen.
It is about making thoughtful decisions now, so that children remain protected, supported, and connected to the people who care about them; whatever the future may hold.
Final thoughts
Separation often forces families to make important decisions earlier than they expected.
Although conversations about Wills, probate, and guardianship can feel difficult, they are an important part of responsible co-parenting and future planning.
Mediation can help parents approach these discussions with empathy, structure, and a shared focus on their children’s wellbeing.
If you would like support exploring these conversations in a safe and constructive environment, mediation may help you take the next step forward. This article contains general information only, for advice please speak to Chris Watts at Fern Wills & LPAs or visit 'Making a will'.
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